A Sunday morning. Children still recovering from yesterday’s long, hectic evening attending and enjoying the Diwali Mela in our apartment complex. A heavy silence around the house. The October nip in the air. For most mums this is the time we get to sip our morning tea in peace, look out of the balcony, smile at the world, breathe.
But I feel restless on such mornings and I realize that inadvertently, over the years, I have got addicted to constant activity, a schedule, targets. When did I get here and how do I get out of this trap?
And so, I open my lappie and check my mail. I go over some work I could do today if I feel so inclined. I stress about the deadlines during the week ahead. I choose a new profile pic on FB in a bid to feel better about myself. I worry about the directionlessness of my life. And I eventually open a ‘new post’ window on my blog and I write.
I write to keep my sanity, to understand myself better, to share what I feel and hope someone else feels the same way. I write to shake off a feeling of despondency that no beautiful Sunday morning should bring. I write to purge myself and bring back my smile.
Let me face it. Mukta mommy can’t handle a breather!
I can’t wait for the kids to be up and yelling for their breakfast, for the day’s appointments to begin, for the hyperactivity that is so part of my life to take over. At some point today, when life has returned to its usual madness, I will get around to laughing (and even perhaps blogging) about the crazy outfits at the Diwali Mela, the Chinese residents of Vipul Greens doing the bhangra in absolute glee, Aadyaa’s mad rounds of the rides and the wonderful job Udai and his friends did with their own games stall last night! I already feel better now!