Is it real? This pursuit of success, this definition of the success of your day by how much you ‘achieved’?

Is it possible? This idea that a productive worker can be, well, productive for five continuous days and then collapse into rest and recuperation for two days, only to emerge doubly productive on Monday morning?

Is it twisted? When I set out to check off a long to-do list and end up working on something that just crept into my horizon mid-day?

Is it sad? When you have so many things on your mind that you no longer know who you are and how you should prioritize your life?

I have no answers and there are days that I could kill myself with my sense of inadequacy and bemoan my lack of drive till the cows come home. But then, I know we live in a world where standards are created for the ideal and humans are expected to be machines. I should be happy to be inadequate, for am I not more human that way? I should celebrate my lack of drive, for that is the day when the best ideas often take seed in my brain.

There’s so much more to life than failure and success. Let me not waste precious energy and undergo unnecessary heartache trying to define my life using the lens that was built for someone who is… not me!